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Tuesday, November 18, 2008

WHO KNOWS WHAT IT REALLY MEANS TO BE HURT - Volume One


Whiskey Lullaby - Brad Paisley

{{{{{PLAY THE SONG .. IT SETS THE STAGE TO MY BLOG}}}}}}



So, I didn't blog yesterday due to a alcohol induced day of sleep and relaxation! It was a mini celebration Sunday Night, and i kinda did too much!!! ... CONGRATS TO MY DUDE & HAPPY BIRTHDAY CITY, MY BAD FOR NOT HITTING YOU MY DUDE!!!

Anyway... I'm sitting here in the dark having some music therapy courtesy of my Imeem Playlist, and this topic just popped into my head (thanks to Brad Paisley's Whiskey Lullaby).

Who has ever been to a place in their life where the person they loved, cared for, trusted, or would die for (referencing an old blog) had done something to you that hurt you so deeply, or just wasn't around anymore so suddenly, that it made you do things that you thought you would never do. I'm not talking about hurt like, throw you clothes out the window or even smash a window. I'm talking about the type of pain that drives people to a stage of heavy drug & Alcohol use, maybe some form of self degradation, and quite possibly depression.

This is a real pain, this is a real feeling, i know people who have tried suicide, i know people who have lost themselves in substances. I'm not trying to bring up old painful memories for anyone, but who has really felt the pain that a love lost can really inflict on you.

I myself have never been "heartbroken" (in the general sense of the word), but at the very young age of 13 or so, i did suffer arguably the single most traumatic experience in my life. Now, i know some people have been lucky enough to have never felt the real pain of a love lost or a loved one's disappointment; but I know many if not even a majority of you have!!

They say what does not kill you makes you stronger, and I'm a person who many would consider strong (both mentally and physically), but some of the things i do (i attribute to the PAIN i felt at an early age of about 13) may just kill me one day.

Maybe what I'm really trying to find out (from those who really have been hurt) is what do you do, did you do to move on, and has it worked????
How do / did you get over that pain??

9 Retort(s):

Anonymous said...

Wow, this is a serious one.

I've been hurt before, but never to the point of wanting to hurt myself. I've also been fortunate enough to never experience anything too traumatic in my life.

However, amongst the many heartaches and hurtful moments I've encountered, I can actually say two were the worst - one being a heartbreak and the other being a family member dissapointment. The family member situation hurt way more, and just the thought of it makes me sad again...(I know you said you weren't trying to bring up painful memories ... well try harder next time V, lol). Anyway, this situation was someone I cared for and trusted and they did/said something that hurt badly. I don't hold grudges, and I always forgive (you won't be satisfied within yourself if you don't forgive) but I did stop speaking to the person. Don't know if and when we will speak again the way we used to.

Remember Mariah Carey's song, "Breakdown"? During times of serious pain I usually feel like it... especially this part - "Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly,
Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering, so I wear my disguise 'til I go home at night
And turn down all the lights and then break down and cry..."

Now I know a heartbreak or sibling dissapointment is nothing compared to going through a traumatic experience at 13, so no, I've never felt self-degradation, never felt the need to resort to suicide,or indulge heavily in drugs and/or alcohol. However, I'm in a situation now where I feel if I was really hurt by him, or if I lost him, I'd unfortunately go through some things I never went through before, and experience the "real" pain you are probably talking about... just cuz I love him that much.

Yeah, you're strong...but you're also human. Anyway, music, drinking - in moderation of course, forgiving, talking to someone who I know genuinely cares about me and most importantly praying are forms of therapy for me. All of these usually help me get over whatever I'm going through. I mean it's not instantaneous ... but it definitely passes with time. Some people just need more time than others.

CXXVII said...

I have been hurt in relationships in the past (see Dr.Love), but never to the point in which you reference. About two summers ago I let myself down. I made a choice or the lack there of a better choice and I was hurt on so many levels. My mother abused drugs and because of that I will never. I have lived (and still living) to see the after effects of that. (Maybe that relationship is the one that will pain me forever)I'm used to taking on problems head first and just dealing with it. But that day I broke down on the phone, I was talking to you actually. And I just let it out...I couldn't hold it in anymore. When it comes to romantic situations though, I have been lucky enough to have always changed for the better....I have been hurt, but never anymore by another person....only myself.

*God's Gift* said...

hmmm...trying to see how to go about this the right way and word everything i say correctly.

alot of people wouldn't even be able to tell that i've been through anything because of my disposition and the smile that i refuse to let go of...but life has been hard. not as hard as some other's lives have been, but considerably difficult to the point where there are moments (such as your one at 13) that i will NEVER forget.

the way i used to deal with these memories was to dirnk & smoke heavily...which i soon found out wasn't the move. not everyone has this, but luckily i have a family that refuses to see me like that, or to fall and not get up so their disappointment only made me get my shit together.

now when i think about any of these things...i pray. not too many people are religious nuts (including myself) but if you do believe in prayer...please believe it works!!

i can't remember the last time i felt the way i used to feel because of the power of prayer.

now, i'm not saying i completely gave up on the smoking and drinking...but i save that more for my social scene. also not saying become a "Holy roller" but hey...try it. it helped me. just a suggestion.

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

I've been there before with my ex, and it is a mental place I don't ever want to venture into again. I do believe it has made me stronger, yet I think it made me not to ever want to give 100% to a man ever again...I'm afraid to say, but not even my husband, if I ever get married.

Maybe that will change, but as of right now, I don't see it ever happening.

Vegas International said...

Anonymous -- Its must easier to say talk to people than actually talking to people when you have major trust and privacy issues.

Liquor and Music i have learned how to use in perfect harmony. It helps me reflect, thank god for my eclectic taste, or i would be stuck in a box. lol

Thank You.

Vegas International said...

hmmm EQ -

Hurt by yourself huh?? Thats kind of my approach to life as well. Expect the worst, hope for the best! If people let you down all that means is that you let you guard down and yea, I can see how you could be disappointed in yourself.

Thx E.

Vegas International said...

BCU -

Trust me babes, i know the deal!!
as i said, i have never been "Heartbroken" but i have been hurt by a loss!! and i think btw that and other shyt, i know i was cut off emotionally for years! Thanks for your input babes.

Anonymous said...

Where's Volume 2?

Anonymous said...

Ive been there.. I think i live there in that place where every thing you ever hoped would never happen to you, happens all in a matter of months or weeks. Ive been crushed by someone i love but all you can do from these experiences is force your self to man up Lol force your self to change the situation an make things different an better for your self. .. drugs and alcohol help for the moment but in my experience as a pot head... it only brings you deeper an deeper down into whatever ur goin thru...the only way to get over something is to go thru it and deal with it an move on..