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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

RACIAL WARS VOLUME 1(RESPONSE TO B.C.U'S BLOG)


A LITTLE BACKGROUND:

I'm Jamaican Born, Brooklyn Raised, attended a boarding school in H.S (in New Hampshire, .8 % african american population, 2% minority rate) So my views are a bit mixed up to this subject.


VOLUME I - is about my feelings on "fucking with" people of the another race, and "seriously dating" someone of another race.


I'm not an advocate of interracial dating, but I'm also smart enough to know that you like who you like, and there is not much you can do about it. However, i do feel like there is enough available people out there of each race to keep everyone happy. Obviously that wont happen, but i think it could. You can be attracted to who you want, but i do believe you can control who you allow yourself to take serious!



I am someone who says I would fuck with a white girl, but I could never marry a white girl. Now, does that make me racist, prejudice, ignorant? I dont know, I just know that is how I feel. Is that any different from a person saying I don't like dark skin guys, I dont like light skin girls, i dont like Party Girls (yea, blog plug), i dont like American girls, i dont like short guys? How is that different? Am i wrong for my preferences? I have wondered about this for some time, and it really wasnt until I read B.C.U's blog and started thinking about it that I realized where some of my feelings really come from. My Freshman year in HS i was involved with a (white) girl whose father liked me b/c I was a star athlete, a honor student, a performer, and everyone loved me. After he found out I was "messing with her", he made a trip to my school and sat me down and explained how he thinks im a good guy, how he likes me, but that he doesn't like the relationship between me and his daughter. At 14 yrs old I was stuck, I'm thinkin we are cool, but now he is telling me I can't talk to his daughter b/c I'm a black guy!


After that, I was on my I would fuck with a white girl, but im not taking them serious! The fact that someone could say that I dont hold any bad feelings towards you personally, but i can not allow you to "fhuck with my daughter" just made me realize there is an acutal line in the sand that was and will be drawn. So thats why i can be close to someone on a friend tip that is of another race, i can find them attractive, we could be real cool, but i just dont think taking the relationship serious is an option for me other than friendship.



My take on black guys with white girls also has a story, but ill hold that for VOLUME II.

15 Retort(s):

MCMLXXXVI said...

I'm from cali, and just about every one out here is mixed with something - including myself, I'm black and Hispanic, and my mom looks white!

I'm open to interracial dating, but because of the psychological things I experienced growing up ... like, wondering why I was black, and my mom was white or not feeling comfortable around my non-black side of the family (because I was ALWAYS the only black one) ...

I don't think I'd have kids with someone wasn't mixed like me, or had some type of "color" in their DNA jumpin off.

April said...

I think love knows no color. I'm happily married now (to a latino guy, not a white guy) but if I were dating, I would date whoever I was interested in dating regardless of whether I planned on just messing around with them or may someday get serious with them. Sometimes love finds you and it doesn't always come in the package you expected - case in point - my husband is short. I went to the same HS as Sr. Vegas and as he probably remembers, I dated the basketball team. I would never have considered dating a short guy, but since I wasn't initially looking to date him, I wasn't worried about the fact that he is short. Turns out he was the man of my dreams and sometimes I'm taller than him in my heals. Go figure.

CXXVII said...

I have never dated or slept with a white guy. I am rarely attracted to them. If I fell head over heels in love with one than sure, why not, as long as his breath doesn't smell like coffee and cigarettes (shoot me)

I am also not attracted to too many light skinned brothers...The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice!

For some its just preference, for you it dates back to when you were 14yrs old. Now as an adult that knows better, try to let that go...I think your black ass would make beautiful black babies or mixed ones...

Vegas International said...

MCMLXXXVI - People say its hard out here for a pimp ... but trust me growing up as the outsider trying to be on the inside is a life you dont want your children to have.

That is one of my reasons for not doing it, but not my primary. You can show your kids all kinds of love, but unless you live in a place where everyone looks like them they will even feel like outsiders in their own home. Trust me i know the stories, i have heard them quite often!

Vegas International said...

April - I agree Love has no color.
But i also believe that you can control who you fall for. Sometimes you fallf or people you didnt expect, but you either conciously or subconciously have already signed off on it.

and not for nothing .. I do remember a short guy that you told me you liked, i just dont recall what happened with that. So you always had that thing for short guys, the tall ones just might have been more of your speed.

Well im glad you found happiness! Lucky Guy!

Vegas International said...

CXXVII - Its easy to say it happened at 14 get over it, but the things that happen at such a young stage in your life are the things that mold you as an adult.

Different things hold different dramatic values for people. If i dont think that this is hindering my life, but actually lends to who i am, why would i stop it. Its who i am, those places are where my feelings came from.

shyt, i might not want to get over it... i never even thought about that

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

After reading your post, I can understand why you would feel that way.

My reason for dating interracially is basically because I date who I like...I have no racial lines, only intelligence lines. Truth be told, I now find myself dating more men who aren't black, as I get older; one of the reasons being is because they come after me more. I don't go after men (I'm too shy...weird), and I have no problem with that. There are other reasons also, but I won't get into that. Point blank, I date whomever I'm attracted to, is attracted to me, and everything else is mutual.

Hmmmm, maybe I should do a post about this...maybe :)

Peggy M. said...

To quote April -

"Sometimes love finds you and it doesn't always come in the package you expected"

Too much truth in that... anyway, back to your posting.

That must have been hard V and I can see how something like that might deter you from ever being with a white girl again.

With that said, I don't and can't knock your preference - to each his own, right? But had you not followed up with your nocuous experience combined with the comparisons of other traits that some people may not prefer in their mate, I would've thought you were making a straight racist statement. You're right to an extent... some girls don't like short guys, some girls don't like light skinned guys, some guys don't like thin girls, some guys don't like girls with kids, and so forth. You just happen to not be able to take a white girl "seriously"... which leads me to my next question:

You said, "You can be attracted to who you want, but i do believe you can control who you allow yourself to take serious!"

What are you talking about here?? Like B.C.U. said, it's not that you're taking a white man/girl serious ... you're taking the person you might've just fell in love with seriously... regardless of what they are.

Now, I might sound as if I've been with a white guy the way I'm carrying on but I have never been. I'm not attracted to them much but if that's who I happen to be dating, and fell in love with, so be it (as long as his Mom doesn't do some shit like your girls dad did...lol).

WWVD?
Question - let's say in your adulthood, you were "fucking" with a white girl but still didn't wanna take her "seriously" but out of your control things were getting serious. Would you intentionally stop seeing her in fear that you might take her "seriously" and actually be with her? Like have you programmed your mind to think like that? Because to me, you can have all types of characteristic dislikes/preferences but once the 'L' word has genuinely made it's appearance in the sequence - all that other shit goes out the window.

Vegas International said...

B.C.U - I see what your saying, and im not one to impose my feelings upon others, but i always think there is a definite line between the races that as i got older just became more clear. Its soo difficult to keep a regualar relationship going much less an interracial one. I guess i just chose to go the route that i felt more comfortable.

Vegas International said...

Pieces, In response to ...

"Sometimes love finds you and it doesn't always come in the package you expected"

&

"You can be attracted to who you want, but i do believe you can control who you allow yourself to take serious!"


"sometimes love finds you" - Yes that is true, but you make concsious decissions on that journey you are taking. Love doesnt bling side you, it just hits you harder than you expected. You know what you are doing when you are doing it, you sometimes just underestimate it. (insert 2nd quote here) I have learned to not underestimate feeling because you can not control them. So i prevent myself from getting too deep, and if i get too deep i have already made the choice to deal with transpires.

for your last question ... i kind of already answered it.

I would not allow it to get to that point where im really diggin her. I personally dont know if i could really get in that deep, but if by chance i was, you cant stop what has already started. If it wont work out it will not work out on its own, not because i stopped it.

Peggy M. said...

ok - thanks for clarifying.

Looking for something to refute here (sounds like someone I know), but I can't find anything...haha

Lexi Chow PR & Company said...

HOW ABOUT A WHITE JAMAICAN...LOL! YOU KNOW I AM A GIRL THAT LOVES A GOOD MIXUP...I LOVE TO DATE CHINESE GUYS AND WHITE GUYS BUT YES THERE IS A BIG BUTT. WE HAVE TO HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON HE HAS TO AT LEAST LIKE RNB OR RAP OR JUST BE IN TUNE WITH MY CULTURE. I JUST LOVE A "BEAUTIFUL" FACE NO MATTER THE RACE.

I THINK THAT, THAT GIRLS FATHER IN HS WAS A BIGOT... DATE WHO YOU WANT LOVE...

**trucee writer** said...

yes...i finally have time to comment on this. found it interesting because we just discussed something like this in a class of mine.

the way i look at it, in these future generations coming up, there wont be too many "pure breeds" of ANY race the way people are mixing and matching out here! Even our Pres. Elect got his ass on TV and said he's a mutt smdh.

So as far as your kids getting slack for being mixed...are they gonna hear that from the OTHER mixed kid in their class because by the time this generation has our "baby boom", i dont feel there will be too many children who only have ONE race attached to them.

Only time i dated outside my race was in HS and the guy was PR. It was cool, had alot in common, just didnt work out and race wasnt the deciding factor. Other than that I've dated black guys bc well, i just think black guys have a certain something about them that drives me crazy. But with me, if you make me laugh and we share common interests, doesnt really matter what color you are!!

Kidada78 said...

I have dated outside of my race on every possible occasion:). I think everyone should. I love Asian & Ethiopian-ish men b/c I am physically attracted them. However, I tend to think the man I will end up with will be Black. I have had deeper connections with guys who share the same beliefs & core values as me. Usually (not always ...) its Black guys with whom I have had this type of connection. Now on the other hand, statistics do show that out of their respective genders Asian men & Black women should be paired just based on numbers. Guess that's good for me lol!! At any rate ELE -everyone love everyone :)

Kidada78 said...

Oh I agree you have to be able to control with whom you get involved. Simply, what you are attracted to isn't always good for you. I think that starts with knowing who you are, what you like & what you need. Preferences are just that- they are our wants. It is key to recognize the things you want vs. need in your significant other.