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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Find LOVE before you claim to be IN LOVE

So I was having a convo with my homie the other day and I must tell you my friends are fucking hilarious!!! I don't claim to be the smartest dude on earth, but I'm like in the 95th percentile when it comes to knowing what to do in this relationship shyt.

Have you ever had to explain to someone that they are not in love with you?? Actually, let me also ask this, do you fall in love with someone 1st or Love them. I myself can't grasp how you "FALL IN LOVE"
With someone before you "LOVE" them 1st, but these are the conversations I have to have with my ppls! LoL

TO ME - I find LOVE to be more of a proximity and familiarity thing. Over time people become familiar, you start to love them for who they are, you start to appreciate them for what they mean to you. So this is more like family or that guy/girl you been dealing with for a while

TO ME - FALLING IN LOVE is a whole different thing.. I prob can't accurately explain exactly how and why I feel IN LOVE is so different, b/c I dnt think I have ever been IN LOVE and I dnt think many of you have either. I really think yall just like to say shyt like that because it feels right or your situation is better than what you had before (when you thought you were in love again, lol) - Just my opinion!

Anyway, IN LOVE is the fairy tale version of the reality. Most people don't FALL IN LOVE, they just LOVE or worst SETTLE (THAT DREADFUL WORD). I'm a firm believer that IN LOVE is my equivalent to the perfect storm. All the stars have to align, this person is exactly what you wanted, does exactly what your like with few exceptions, loves you for who you are and want to be, and even if it doesn't work out. That shyt just doesn't happen anymore! So most don't know what IN LOVE is, we are just so used to fucked up situations that whatever is better than what we came out of, we feel like its the best thing ever!

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Sent from Vegas' Crackberry

8 Retort(s):

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

Love must come first before being in love...that's common sense.

Confused Luv said...

I think people still "fall in love," but I think it is the minority not the majority. I love your description of the "perfect storm." I think that is what all people should strive for, but what is sad most people never experience.

I was talking with one of my older coworkers who has been married for 30 some years and I asked did she love her husband and she had to think about it and she finally said probally not, but that she has been with him for so long she is just going to stick with him.

Loving someone takes time...you have to get to know a person, the good and bad. It takes work and a desire to do it.

Vegas International said...

I'm with you homie -- when I heard and heard again, and kept hearing that people think you fall in love first really threw me off! I just don't think ppl know what IN LOVE is -- but who am I to talk - I have never been there!

Vegas International said...

C Luv ...

I think its possible, but you're right with the fact that its the minority report. In Love isn't a pre requisite for happiness, its a dream and a fairytale that people wish they have or live to experience

The older generations are much different, their lives are not cluttered by what our lives are, we have waaay to many distractions and options to really know what we Truly Love or Truly Want. We watch toooo much damn TV, lol

Loving someone is the hardest thing to do, even harder than falling in Love. You make decisions on the way to loving, fallking in love is exactly what it sounds like, no one falls on purpose! LoL

JEN MOISE said...

hmmmmm veggy.....1st i will like to start off by saying...how can you talk about "falling in love" if you yourself never experienced it?? and how can you honestly say to someone else that they have or have not been in love???

i agree with, you have to love someone 1st before you fall in love with them..

i feel if someone says that "i'm in love with you" i cant say to them "no, you're not" just like if someone says they have a headach i cant say to them, no they dont.

i agree on the perfect storm, all the stars have to align, this person is exactly what u wanted and then some, loves you for who you are and wants to be and even if its over but but but "does exactly what you like with few exceptions"????? you might as well tell them what to do and he/she will do it...thats whack...no SURPRISES/EXCITEMENTS?????

so the people that are "in love"...they're dreaming or in a fairy tale?? why?? and if thats the case they probably dont ever want to wake up.

and to the comment about the older generations and distractions.....i think that we have it better because we are much freer to love and be in love with whom ever then our parents did and if you allow distractions aka temptations then thats not who you really wanted cuz everybody knows when you WANT something, NOTHING is gonna stop you from getting yours....ya digg

but i agree loving someone is the hardest....shitttttt...lol

good blog veg
cant wait for retort...lol... :)

peggy m. said...

Jen went in...lol.


Anywho...

You really shouldn't be attempting to make an argument about love v. in love if you don't know what being in love is Vegas.

I'm probably one of the people you've had this conversation with because I remember saying to you who loves first then falls in love? But after little thought, I'm starting to think people who fall first then love confuse that euphoric high you get in the early stages of dating with "falling". You're right; falling in love can seem fairytale-ish, just like that high you get when you first start seeing someone and as you mentioned, your new situation is better than your prior. I think that's where it starts to get tricky.

I always looked at it like falling in love was the beginning stages of things whereas loving someone is the real deal ... eh, I don't know ... maybe it's me.

Like falling in love can be either a flash of emotions or a first step towards love. To me, falling in love is a strong instinctive attraction to your mate. If it's mutual; both people will eventually make that feeling grow into love. It's physical, weak knees, etc. Whereas love to me is more calm, comfortable and mental.

I also think falling in love can last quite some time.

Cuz I know I'm still on my SWV shit with mine sometimes.

Blah!

Love sucks lol

Vegas International said...

Jen ...

Since you want to jump in front of the bus, im obligated to drive right over you. You did this to yourself!

Now, how can i say that?? Its easy, you dont have to know the right answer to a question, to know that the answer you are getting is the wrong one. Now, i did not say that i can tell you if you are in love or not, what i said was ..... "I prob can't accurately explain exactly how and why I feel IN LOVE is so different, b/c I dnt think I have ever been IN LOVE and I dnt think many of you have either. I really think yall just like to say shyt like that because it feels right or your situation is better than what you had before"
so basically that is my opinion on how i feel people confuse feelings for love. I feel like people think they are in love, but sometimes is just a heavy lust or maybe even plain love.

With age comes wisdom (most of the time, not all the time) and with widsom comes knowledge. So ill put this to you in terms that you can understand. You didnt know what good dick was until you had it. You heard about it, girls spoke about it, you might have even seen it on a porn or two, but you never knew exactly what that good dick was until you felt it for the 1st time. You may have had big dick, you may have had long dick, you may have had rough dick, but none of it was "good dick" -- and when you had that good dick for the 1st time .... you were like ... OHHHHHHHHHH SHIT!!!! THATS SOME GOOD DICK!!!!

Vegas International said...

Jen ....

i was going to stop with my last post, but upon re reading your comment, you have so much passion in your words,i felt like i would be doing you an injustice not to reverse and run you over again because i didnt respond to the rest of your comments ...

1. you might as well tell them what to do and he/she will do it...thats whack...no SURPRISES/EXCITEMENTS?????
-- I did not say do what i want, i said they do what i like. maybe i like suiprises, maybe i like excitement, but they do what i like, i didnt say they have to be puppets, they should think freely, but those free thoughts are things that i can agree with and enjoy. Pay attention to what i said, and stop trying to be a superstar and throw me under the bus.

2. so the people that are "in love"...they're dreaming or in a fairy tale?? why?? and if thats the case they probably dont ever want to wake up.
-- ONCE AGAIN, I never said that.
what i said was, "IN LOVE is the fairy tale version of the reality"
So if you FALL IN LOVE, to me i believe its a feeling and experience that fairytales are made of. You dont come across it very easily or too often.

3. i feel if someone says that "i'm in love with you" i cant say to them "no, you're not" just like if someone says they have a headach i cant say to them, no they dont.
-- YOU ARE BUGGIN!!!! I dont even want to tell you how many times i have accurately said NO U ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH ME. Bitch you dont even know the name on my passport or where i live, you aint IN LOVE WITH ME .. You might be in love with the image and persona that is me, but bitch you dont love me.
TELL ME I CAN'T TELL SOMEONE THEY DONT LOVE ME .... PUULLLEEEASE!!!

I wish you would come back and start something Jen, my retorts and locked and loaded! Ill air this blog out! lmaoooo