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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

YOUR SECRETS ARE SAFE WITH ME .....


What constitutes a 'BEST FRIEND'?

I hear those words used quite often! Best Friend!
What does that really mean to people?

I know I am guilty of the excessive use of the words myself, and just like everyone else I have a reason for why I use it so often. Personally, I'm someone who does not get too close to people, I'm a very public person w/ a very private life so if i feel comfortable confiding in you, I consider you a best friend.

What do you think a best friend is supposed to be? Is it someone you feel comfortable speaking with? Is it someone that knows you the longest? Is it someone that knows your deepest secrets? Is it someone who you feel would never let you down or do anything against you that you don't like?

Maybe I'm a skeptic because I believe that different friends offer different things to your life and your relationship. I don't agree or think it is possible for one friend to encompass all that a "Best Friend" should by definition offer to the relationship.

I think a singular best friend is childish because as a child your needs are childish. As people grow up they grow out and become more complex, people who have known you the longest may not understand the person you are now. However, ppl you relate to now, you probably can not trust like those who have known you the longest.

Do you think people can really have multiple 'BEST FRIENDS' , or is that just a title people use like 'Shorty' ? Because Honestly, you can have many shorties, but you can only have one Boyfriend / Girlfriend.

3 Retort(s):

♥Sharifa Akilah said...

i think you can have more than one best friend! i do!

i don't think a best friend would never let you down, cause everyone lets u down at some point even if its the smallest thing like canceling a dinner date... but my best friends tai & shona i can tell anything in the world.. they look at me without judgement... they allow me to vent... if i ever needed anything i KNOW they will always be there... good or bad... thick or thin... those 2 will be my friends to the end... if we have a disagreement, its discussed and we move on... its as if nothing ever happened... i am honestly wayyyy closer to tai, than shona, but i think that has a little to do with the distance (shona lives in chicago)...

anyway... i do not use the term "best friend" loosely, but i def use the term "friend" loosely... its hard to introduce someone you hang with as an associate without them being offended... even if u only call them to go party... so i just say friend friend for everyone... what matters most is actually KNOWING how is truly a friend!

Makeup by Kim Porter said...

I agree with Sharifa...

To me, true friends are the people that are there for you when you need someone the most, but don’t want to admit it. They’re the ones that will tell you the truth (even when you don't want to hear it but need to), and then help you deal with it, they're supportive even when it's not something they may agree with. The truth is, friends are family, whether by blood or through love (tough love).

I know people who place value on their friendships due to the amount of time they've known that person, the struggles they've gone through together, commonalities, etc. One of my best friends (I say one of because I have more than one & yes, that's possible) I've known since junior highschool, but that's not what makes our relationship solid. What makes it a solid friendship is the fact that there's reciprocity in our friendship. We both respect one another. If there's someone either of us do or say that is harmful or disrespectful to the other, we curb it. We don't go around calling each other bitches etc because it's not something we like. Our relationship is also solid because we have been there for each other through hell and high water. You name it, we been through it. NEVER have either of us used our past mistakes against each other to make the other feel bad or to prove a point. In my book, that's not what friends do!

As friends I believe I should be able to come to you about anything - full disclosure, without having to worry about you airing my personal business (in public) when you become upset with me.

As for using the term 'friend' loosely, I don't anymore. I know it's easier to say he/she is my friend, but why say so if they're not? As you get older it's easier to draw the line between friend & associate. If someone gets upset because you call them your associate or say, "this is someone I know from ____" instead of saying this is my friend (insert name), then screw them lol, seriously.

Suzanna said...

I have learned to not use the word "best friend" agreeing with Sharifa, at one point everyone is going to let you down in some way, shape or form.
Everyone looks out for themselves at the end of day, "survival of the fittest" Maybe I am being to tough on the definition of "best friend" but I would rather say I have close friends, more then one...

Great post by the way! Im a new follower, I love convo's like this:) You can check me out on my blog www.suzannamansour.blogspot.com
Im new, so not many posts up yet :) we can also tweet away!
www.twitter.com/Suzanna_Mansour